Campaigning candidates desperate for another way to get our vote seem intent on using the 'grandkids' as a motivator. "We don't want to pass on these problems to our grandkids do we? Gee, I guess not, so I'll vote for you! Another thing I don't have to worry about. Of course it's a ploy to somehow get us to be even more uncritical than we already are regarding our politics, but it has got me thinking about what I would like my 4 grandkids to know about life. Grandad would like to tell you a story!
But I find I need your help. My first shot at answering that question was not good enough to share with anyone. My list was too abstract, too preachy, and not the stuff that any of my grandkids would likely read. I'm not after 'cute', let Hallmark do that or someone with more imagination. It doesn't have to be in kid's format, although maybe someday. It just has to be truthful and helpful and not nasty or a rant to make me feel better.
I know I want my grandkids to be critical thinkers and ethical actors. I want them to think for themselves as a result of being wide-open to the great insights of people past and present as well as those who think about the future. I don't want my grandkids to be warped by the dominance of the economic myth. Warped views of money, sex and power destroy, dominate and are always, always, always present and incredibly tempting.
I would like them to have stories, mythologies, and even hero figures that can sustain and inform and continue to teach them about the need to distinguish reality from illusion. I want them to choose from the myriad of life giving possibilities, forms of culture like dance, drama, literature, music, and even sport that keep one mentally and physically strong.
I want them to have a deep appreciation for difference, to not fear it and to feel themselves growing as they become involved with people and engaged by ideas from a variety of cultures and perspectives. I want them to 'love people', but not in some naive way that overlooks the weaknesses we all have. Can everyone have the opportunity to travel? Perhaps not, but for many people it is a key ingredient in changing perspective. And so is reading. Think Harry Potter.
I want them to have an education that is informed by the most creative edge existing. I do not want them to buy into views of life that are clearly not only at odds with scientific insight, but are simply wrong, not in intent by those hold those views, but wrong in fact. I want them always to be the one who is responsible in some way in every situation, without guilt, and to know responsibility exercised as freedom in community.
I want them to cherish living, embrace all of creation, and sense a kinship with neighbors near and far. This may help them choose the deep values of relationships over the superficial value of things.
You see how hard this is! Help me out here!. What are the three (you can go as high as ten or twelve if you have them) 'things', 'insights', 'values' you want for your grandchildren. If you don't have grandchildren, just ask yourself what is so important to you as a human being that you really want others to look there for guidance. To shift the context a bit, "what did you know and when did you know it?" This is a work forever in progress. Please contribute.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Our Time is 'Ragtime'
My yearly pilgrimage with my wife Dixie to see plays at the Shaw Festival at Niagara-on-the Lake, Ontario continues to be an important engaging creative time in my life. I was only vaguely familiar with the E.L. Doctorow novel, 'Ragtime' that inspired one play that I saw this year.
"Ragtime, the Musical is an example of American myth-making a it most alluring, ambitious and artful, particularly when we consider that nothing less than America's collective dream is at stake."--Paula Uruburu, 'Myth America', 2012.
'Ragtime' is our time. 2012 America is not just uneven, it is ruptured. We are not just divided we are separated. E Pluribus Unum, out of many one does not reflect the reality of our times. The dream we claim as our uniqueness, our 'myth', our story of who we are is being re-written, but not is a way that reflects our basic values. It is being re-written not as one, but as many as individualism trumps being in this together.
The early 1900's was a time of ups and downs in America. It was a ragged time. For the well-healed having achieved the 'American Dream' it was a threatening time. Newer immigrants came to the shores in the millions. Many arrived with nothing yet looked to America as a promise of a better day for them and their families. Others, primarily Americans of African and slave descent had worked here for generations, yet were still regarded as less than second class citizens. To them it was a time of continuing disappointment and anger nevertheless they hang on to a thread of hope that good 'men' would do the right thing by them, advocate for justice. Anarchy, communism and the few rich gave rise to discontent, protest and movements seeking not overthrow but equality of opportunity.
It was over 125 years since the dream of 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' based on a law that treated everyone equally had been the hope of every citizen. Yet, to many it seemed further away than it had ever been.
A musical form emerged that countered the despair and pessimism of the times. 'Ragtime' as a musical type provided melodies that sought to include the gifts of all music, classical(Dvorak), the marching music of Jon Phillip Sousa, and the new arrangements by Scott Joplin and others. Important ingredients of various American cultures were represented. The dream received articulation in song. The possibility of a new 'myth of America' could be played and heard in an art form.
We need an American myth that captures for our time the dream of this nation. A new American myth will not automatically come from electing whomever we thing is the 'right' candidate. I, for one, see President Obama as the better choice this time around. However, as a friend of mine says, whoever wins, we have a lot of work to do. It's time for a new dream.
We seem to be drawn to dreams of a divided America. The 'Occupy Movement', perhaps having had its say already, spoke of the "1% and the 99%" being re-balanced. Candidate Romney speaks of the '47%' of us who have changed the dream into an unmotivated existence of dependency and victimism. 'God bless America.' Any future that begins with 'us' and 'them' is not one with legs.
The dream that attracts me is one that emphasizes the 'us' the 'we' as one, as united, as community. To move that direction I think of the possible. It is possible to engage our citizens through millions of conversations taking place around tables and in circles from our families, neighborhoods, clubs, groups, churches to our elected leaders. These conversations will focus on the role and responsibility of citizenship. The dream will become new because citizenship will be re-invented and community will come from the connections of all involved in the process.
Leadership that can assist in the dream will articulate such a vision and provide encouragement for all Americans to invest in that future. That investment will include the opportunity for employment in building a new America through the needed infrastructure, health care, education, housing and environment. The jobs created in this dream can be identified in these areas and we can begin to choose what role each of us will play vocationally, in our civic life and in our families. Part of the American dream is the real opportunity to teach, to heal, to think, to design, to build and to create.
While I do not think that history is cyclical, 'what goes around, comes around', these times feel like 'Ragtime' to me. Fear drives the creation of new myths of who we are and who we want to be. This is a time when I wish I were a musician or playwright so I could more creatively participate in this process. But I can be in conversation with family, friends and neighbors. And when I am, I can inquire about how we can share our gifts in our 'ragtime' and live the melody that suggests.
"Ragtime, the Musical is an example of American myth-making a it most alluring, ambitious and artful, particularly when we consider that nothing less than America's collective dream is at stake."--Paula Uruburu, 'Myth America', 2012.
'Ragtime' is our time. 2012 America is not just uneven, it is ruptured. We are not just divided we are separated. E Pluribus Unum, out of many one does not reflect the reality of our times. The dream we claim as our uniqueness, our 'myth', our story of who we are is being re-written, but not is a way that reflects our basic values. It is being re-written not as one, but as many as individualism trumps being in this together.
The early 1900's was a time of ups and downs in America. It was a ragged time. For the well-healed having achieved the 'American Dream' it was a threatening time. Newer immigrants came to the shores in the millions. Many arrived with nothing yet looked to America as a promise of a better day for them and their families. Others, primarily Americans of African and slave descent had worked here for generations, yet were still regarded as less than second class citizens. To them it was a time of continuing disappointment and anger nevertheless they hang on to a thread of hope that good 'men' would do the right thing by them, advocate for justice. Anarchy, communism and the few rich gave rise to discontent, protest and movements seeking not overthrow but equality of opportunity.
It was over 125 years since the dream of 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' based on a law that treated everyone equally had been the hope of every citizen. Yet, to many it seemed further away than it had ever been.
A musical form emerged that countered the despair and pessimism of the times. 'Ragtime' as a musical type provided melodies that sought to include the gifts of all music, classical(Dvorak), the marching music of Jon Phillip Sousa, and the new arrangements by Scott Joplin and others. Important ingredients of various American cultures were represented. The dream received articulation in song. The possibility of a new 'myth of America' could be played and heard in an art form.
We need an American myth that captures for our time the dream of this nation. A new American myth will not automatically come from electing whomever we thing is the 'right' candidate. I, for one, see President Obama as the better choice this time around. However, as a friend of mine says, whoever wins, we have a lot of work to do. It's time for a new dream.
We seem to be drawn to dreams of a divided America. The 'Occupy Movement', perhaps having had its say already, spoke of the "1% and the 99%" being re-balanced. Candidate Romney speaks of the '47%' of us who have changed the dream into an unmotivated existence of dependency and victimism. 'God bless America.' Any future that begins with 'us' and 'them' is not one with legs.
The dream that attracts me is one that emphasizes the 'us' the 'we' as one, as united, as community. To move that direction I think of the possible. It is possible to engage our citizens through millions of conversations taking place around tables and in circles from our families, neighborhoods, clubs, groups, churches to our elected leaders. These conversations will focus on the role and responsibility of citizenship. The dream will become new because citizenship will be re-invented and community will come from the connections of all involved in the process.
Leadership that can assist in the dream will articulate such a vision and provide encouragement for all Americans to invest in that future. That investment will include the opportunity for employment in building a new America through the needed infrastructure, health care, education, housing and environment. The jobs created in this dream can be identified in these areas and we can begin to choose what role each of us will play vocationally, in our civic life and in our families. Part of the American dream is the real opportunity to teach, to heal, to think, to design, to build and to create.
While I do not think that history is cyclical, 'what goes around, comes around', these times feel like 'Ragtime' to me. Fear drives the creation of new myths of who we are and who we want to be. This is a time when I wish I were a musician or playwright so I could more creatively participate in this process. But I can be in conversation with family, friends and neighbors. And when I am, I can inquire about how we can share our gifts in our 'ragtime' and live the melody that suggests.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The New B and B: Beer and Bicycle
By brewing beer and rewarding employees with bicycles, New Belgium Brewing Company in Ft. Collins, Colorado is one model of a company that supports the sustainability of both its employees and the environment.
I've had family in Ft. Collins since the early 1900's, so my ears perked up at this interview. As she spells out her philosophy it becomes clear that responsible citizenship is the face of her company. It's a refreshing way to view business, one that can be embraced by so called 'pro' and 'anti' business forces.
Kim Jordan is the CEO. You may have enjoyed Fat Tire, their signature brew. You can listen to the 4 minute interview with Ms. Jordan at:
<http://minnesota.publicradio.org/features/npr.php?id=160697491>
In her interview with Audie Cornish, Ms. Jordan stayed focussed on the value of business rather than playing a partisan political card. As she presents it, business, NB in particular, does not operate separate from the community just because it needs to make money to be viable.. Rather it is a partner in building community with an emphasis on sustaining people, their families and communities and the environment.
Politics and policy enter the conversaton when she looks at which political candidates share her vision and practice. The beer industry is highly regulated, but she does not oppose useful regulation. On future tax policies that some claim would hurt small business, her opposition to being taxed is not automatic. Risk, including projecting the impact of taxes is part of the process. And, she added, “to whom much is given much is required.”
Given the current discussion of 'I built that' versus 'we built it' , her most telling comments include her recognition that to create and distribute New Belgium’s product, many, many hard-working, dedicated people have to work together in a collective way. Profits, she believes, should go the people that do the work and re-invest in the company as well as to the ‘outside’ investors who often provide capital necessary to launch and advance the business. But her contention and commitment is that outsiders do not receive an unfair proportion of the profits. Kim Jordan knows that ‘we’re in this together’ and that community well being trumps the profit motive.
That may be the heart of the matter. If New Belgium didn’t make money and create jobs, the discussion might be different. They made $140 million last year. The implication that somehow successful business and quality of life for the whole community are not deeply inter-related is based on a different model for community.
A business can BE the healthy community that sustains families and gives back to its community.
It’s been several years since I toured New Belgium Brewery in Ft. Collins. It was the new kid on the block then and Fat Tire was its brand. You could only buy it in Colorado and not nationally for a number of years. But in those early days what made New Belgium special is what makes it strong today, a commitment to sustainability, employee participation in investment and profits, and to an esprit de corps that engages everyone in running the business.
After the tour I asked an employee about a very cool retro bicycle, the one pictured on the Fat Tire label. He said come and work here a year and we’ll give you one. I’m never quite sure why I didn’t. I loved that bike! My favorite NB beer is called 1557, a dark Belgian special. B and B. Especially on warm days, it doesn't get much better.
** I was born in Fort Collins, Colorado. Even though we moved 40 miles north to Cheyenne, Wyoming when I was 4, my parents had 12 brothers and sisters each! Ft. Collins was ‘Brunz-Deines’ country for many years. I've been to 'Collins' a hundred times and have fond memories of the streetcars, the American theater with its cartoons, newsreels and cowboy double features. My mom, with her 18 month old (me) in tow had just seen “Gone With the Wind” there when the news about Pearl Harbor was announced. Poudre Valley Creamery had the best milkshakes in the world and Colorado A & M (a college of 1500 students, now Colorado State University with 50, 000) was a place for getting a glimpse of a more diverse world. Our family picnics at City Park were the stuff of today’s community festivals. (figure it out with 51 first cousins.) A highly competitive softball game would end the day's festivities.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
We Need Dr. King--a model of civility
I walk past the Mystery and Fiction sections in the Milwaukee Public Library. I’m looking for a Scottish mystery. I’m in a hurry. I’m parked in a 15 minute zone out front. And then it happened......The King Center Imaging Project.
Up pops a 15’ by 15’ enclosed exhibit about Martin Luther King Jr. And it’s not even February (Black History Month) or April 4th (King’s death.) It is, however, the 49th anniversary of the March on Washington and the “I Have a Dream Speech.” But, I’d not heard of this exhibit. Little or no publicity. And this is its last of three days here.
Only one other person is examining the exhibit, but I am eagerly pursued and then welcomed by a young man who explains the options, and there are many, for interacting with Dr. King, the Movement, his family and friends, and the times. You pull out drawers and examine ‘sermons’, ‘speeches’, ‘family life’ etc. There are visual projections of Dr. King speaking and a half-dozen computers geared to take you to any of a dozen different aspects of his life. They emphasize his childhood, education, church and community involvement, and, of course, his principle contribution as leader of the Civil Rights Movement.
I circled the exhibit catching bits and pieces of things he had said. Then I was gradually drawn closer and closer to his writings, his letters--both personal and public--and his speeches and sermons.
I simply was blown away. Awestruck. And this is not the first time I have been encountered and moved by Dr. King. I have to take account of this once more. I participated in Dr. King’s Chicago march protesting the Vietnam War, cheered him at the packed houses of Chicago’s Southside black churches, and felt a small, but important part of this history in the making. More recently I have read some of his writings, the biographies by Taylor Branch, and shake my head at the gradual watering down of his message.
Adding to the struggle, is that this significant exhibit is ‘An Initiative of JP Morgan Chase and Co.’ Yes, that’s Jamie Dimon’s money. How hard it is to have clean hands. Impossible, even.
Nevertheless, however the message of truth and clarity came, it came, again. I have been thinking about what ‘history of the United States‘ I want my grandchildren to know. I definitely want them to know about the slave trade, slavery, the removal of Native Americans to make room for the rest of us, the genius of the men and women who did create the American system and the Civil War over slavery. I want them to know about Reconstruction (a return to a more subtle slavery), I want them to know of the participation of African-Americans and Native Americans in defending the United States in its wars, I want them to know about the Great Depression, and about the unknown and known military men and women of the two great World Wars, and I want them to know about Dr. King and the Civil Rights Movement. Of course there is more. And there is context. But there are key events that have shaped our country more than others. And perhaps none more than the Civil Rights Movement led and taught by Dr. King.
I do not want these true stories of our history to be either forgotten or stuck in the quagmire of the game we see acted by public officials now to avoid the truth. I mean the ‘everyone has a right to their own facts’ debates. Neither do I want to deflect the deep reality of these facts by turning them into guilt trips about racism--the facts are plain enough. They need telling but not enhancing or sermonizing.
In my next ‘blog’ I intend to point to the things I learned, again, at the exhibit today. Things that give me a model of clear thinking, not just about 49 years ago, but about today. I am convinced that Dr. King’s greatness lies in both his courageous leadership, but also in the timeless and the straightforward truth telling that is so lacking today even in the leaders whom I admire and will vote for. Now is the time to advocate for an emphasis in education that is about history (historical accuracy to the best of our ability) and justice (placing life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness within the reach of all.)
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
'Prominent' Voices Alter Reality
" I do not see how we will get beyond it (polarization) unless some very prominent voices speak out - or unless we can develop a network of voices to which people will listen."
I received this response after I posted some comments on a 'Beyond Polarization' dialogue project. What particularly struck me is the phrase 'prominent voices.' Who are they and how can we get them to speak out to overcome this polarization? Are prominent persons those in the public sphere who can speak out and hopefully be heard more readily than you or I? Are we part of that 'network' referred to in the second half of the lead in quote?
Two 'prominent' people who have made a good effort to use their positions in this way are Sen. Dale Schultz (Republican) and Sen. Tim Cullen (Democrat) who serve through the Wisconsin legislature in Madison. They offer an alternative vision for Wisconsin politics to that being represented at the Republican convention.
Wisconsin is on the national political map for having Gov. Scott Walker emerge as a Republican hero, Reince Priebus chairing the RNC and now, of course, Paul Ryan being the nominee for Vice-President. It may or may not be unprecedented, but it identifies Wisconsin as a state that is moving rapidly to the right and in a position to influence the national political reality. More 'balance' (a lot more) is needed.
Little known, I'm guessing, is the effort of these two Wisconsin state senators to actively construct a new kind of conversation that brings civil conversation to the fore. Schultz is from the Western part of the state and Cullen, who interestingly graduated from the same Janesville Craig High School as Paul Ryan. Craig is also the alma mater of recently defeated Senator Russ Feingold, perhaps the last of the 'old-time' liberals. I must visit Janesville sometime. And Priebus is 'just down the road' 71 miles from Janesville is Kenosha. All that 'prominence' from tiny southeast Wisconsin! Take that East and West coast! Whoops, forget that, "build bridges, cross aisles, don't stereotype." It's hard. But these guys are giving it a good shot.
Schultz and Cullen began about a year ago to put forth a bi-partisan image. They travelled the state having forums during which they acknowledged differences, but emphasized what kinds of things they could work together on for the citizens of the State of Wisconsin. This included issues dealing with the environment, health care, and especially the business environment and changing the direction of the economy.
The citizen response to them has been muted. Nevertheless, they continue to go public in a bi-partisan way and there are some indications that others in power positions are watching, listening, and perhaps moving a bit themselves to connect better with those who seem to be on opposite sides.
I think it's important that they hear from us that 'we want what they're having.' ( a play on "When Harry Met Sally")
Here is a link to a news story describing their recent activity.
http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/news/local/green_bay/both-sides-civility-in-government
By supporting these 'prominent' legislators in creating a third way, we can be part of a network of persons across the country who directly advocate for more of the 'Schultz-Cullen' dream. Identify potential partners in your local and state government and provide the 'Schultz-Cullen' model as a place to begin.
May the other guys from Janesville be as encouraging.
http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/news/local/green_bay/both-sides-civility-in-government
Email your supportive word to:
Dale Schultz: senatordaleschultz.com
Tim Cullen: legis.wisconsin.gov/w3asp/contact/
I received this response after I posted some comments on a 'Beyond Polarization' dialogue project. What particularly struck me is the phrase 'prominent voices.' Who are they and how can we get them to speak out to overcome this polarization? Are prominent persons those in the public sphere who can speak out and hopefully be heard more readily than you or I? Are we part of that 'network' referred to in the second half of the lead in quote?
Two 'prominent' people who have made a good effort to use their positions in this way are Sen. Dale Schultz (Republican) and Sen. Tim Cullen (Democrat) who serve through the Wisconsin legislature in Madison. They offer an alternative vision for Wisconsin politics to that being represented at the Republican convention.
Wisconsin is on the national political map for having Gov. Scott Walker emerge as a Republican hero, Reince Priebus chairing the RNC and now, of course, Paul Ryan being the nominee for Vice-President. It may or may not be unprecedented, but it identifies Wisconsin as a state that is moving rapidly to the right and in a position to influence the national political reality. More 'balance' (a lot more) is needed.
Little known, I'm guessing, is the effort of these two Wisconsin state senators to actively construct a new kind of conversation that brings civil conversation to the fore. Schultz is from the Western part of the state and Cullen, who interestingly graduated from the same Janesville Craig High School as Paul Ryan. Craig is also the alma mater of recently defeated Senator Russ Feingold, perhaps the last of the 'old-time' liberals. I must visit Janesville sometime. And Priebus is 'just down the road' 71 miles from Janesville is Kenosha. All that 'prominence' from tiny southeast Wisconsin! Take that East and West coast! Whoops, forget that, "build bridges, cross aisles, don't stereotype." It's hard. But these guys are giving it a good shot.
Schultz and Cullen began about a year ago to put forth a bi-partisan image. They travelled the state having forums during which they acknowledged differences, but emphasized what kinds of things they could work together on for the citizens of the State of Wisconsin. This included issues dealing with the environment, health care, and especially the business environment and changing the direction of the economy.
The citizen response to them has been muted. Nevertheless, they continue to go public in a bi-partisan way and there are some indications that others in power positions are watching, listening, and perhaps moving a bit themselves to connect better with those who seem to be on opposite sides.
I think it's important that they hear from us that 'we want what they're having.' ( a play on "When Harry Met Sally")
Here is a link to a news story describing their recent activity.
http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/news/local/green_bay/both-sides-civility-in-government
By supporting these 'prominent' legislators in creating a third way, we can be part of a network of persons across the country who directly advocate for more of the 'Schultz-Cullen' dream. Identify potential partners in your local and state government and provide the 'Schultz-Cullen' model as a place to begin.
May the other guys from Janesville be as encouraging.
http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/news/local/green_bay/both-sides-civility-in-government
Email your supportive word to:
Dale Schultz: senatordaleschultz.com
Tim Cullen: legis.wisconsin.gov/w3asp/contact/
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Healthy Relationships
There is an apocryphal account of a guy who puts a billboard on a little traveled road that spells out in twenty foot letters S-E-X. The story goes that within days the volume of traffic skyrocketed and the accident rate increased substantially. This story emerged during the nascent 'sexual revolution' of the 1960's so today's public may not be so susceptible. Nevertheless, S-E-X can still be an attention grabber. You can depend on some sex-related outrage surrounding the political conventions. And sex abuse in families, churches and schools is a pretty serious matter. Sex is as American as well...
So hope the backers of two current films, "Hope Springs" and "Your Sister's Sister." I assume 'Hope' is going for a good portion of the 55 plus age group while 'Sister' aims a generation or two younger. The story lines are driven by exploring relationships based on sexual attraction or alienation.
These are good hearted stories that will be enjoyed by a wide-range of audiences. The first, 'Hope', follows a couple, married 31 years, from their repetitive, hum drum existence in Omaha to a week long intensive marriage therapy session in Great Hope Springs, Maine. Kay (Meryl Streep) basically drags Albert (Tommy Lee Jones) to the therapist hoping to save the marriage. Ms. Streep and Mr. Jones are among the class actors of our time. 'Your Sister's" is a three-some (or something). Three 30-ish young people, linked by friendship and kinship, are each in their own ways lost and alone. Iris(Emily Blunt), Jack(Mark Duplass) and Hannah(Rosemarie DeWitt) work well in difficult roles. They end up together in an isolated retreat hideaway on Puget Sound. Maine and the Puget Sound provide beautiful natural landscapes, the kind of places we go for 'healing'.
Each of the five primary characters is out to find a cure for their empty spirits so that life can go on. Albert and Kay have drifted way apart and need a major intervention to re-discover and re-ignite the passion that first birthed their love. Or not. In 'Sister' the death of Jack's brother has left him in a year long funk. He can only be angry. He can't bring himself to tell Iris that he loves her. Iris mourns her lack of courage to openly admit that she loves Jack. Hannah, the sister, has just left a 7-year lesbian relationship. No one of them has anything else in their lives that seems to matter. They are stuck trying to wade through the relative complexities of their connects and disconnects, but have a tiny prism to look through.
Why does S-E-X so dominate the meaning of their lives? Our lives? (I'm going to take a break now to 'delete' the 75--no kidding--e-mails that come daily to get me to buy viagra or look at available partners) Is this the 'heart of the matter?' Albert and Kay's Omaha a 1950's kind of gender stereotyping of couples in their 60's probably exists. The 'cluelessness' is funny, but pretty sad this late in the game. I've heard that most of Omaha has been liberated. And even if you go to the center of Puget Sound to work on your life, there must be other things that interest one after 25 years living in Seattle, often mentioned as one of the 'ten best places to live' in the U.S. Isn't life more than getting one's sex lives straight? Is our obsession another way we think we can at least have control over something? The power of sex and the many ways it informs our lives is not to be minimized. We've done harmful things to ourselves and others because openness and honesty have not been my or our strong suit in discussing it. These films bring a healthy perspective that is accessible to many of us. Persons near my age in 'Sister' laughed like school kids enjoying a guilty pleasure. Maybe if we were more open, the pre-occupation would lessen and we could be about other things as well. Films can be a context for that conversation.
So hope the backers of two current films, "Hope Springs" and "Your Sister's Sister." I assume 'Hope' is going for a good portion of the 55 plus age group while 'Sister' aims a generation or two younger. The story lines are driven by exploring relationships based on sexual attraction or alienation.
These are good hearted stories that will be enjoyed by a wide-range of audiences. The first, 'Hope', follows a couple, married 31 years, from their repetitive, hum drum existence in Omaha to a week long intensive marriage therapy session in Great Hope Springs, Maine. Kay (Meryl Streep) basically drags Albert (Tommy Lee Jones) to the therapist hoping to save the marriage. Ms. Streep and Mr. Jones are among the class actors of our time. 'Your Sister's" is a three-some (or something). Three 30-ish young people, linked by friendship and kinship, are each in their own ways lost and alone. Iris(Emily Blunt), Jack(Mark Duplass) and Hannah(Rosemarie DeWitt) work well in difficult roles. They end up together in an isolated retreat hideaway on Puget Sound. Maine and the Puget Sound provide beautiful natural landscapes, the kind of places we go for 'healing'.
Each of the five primary characters is out to find a cure for their empty spirits so that life can go on. Albert and Kay have drifted way apart and need a major intervention to re-discover and re-ignite the passion that first birthed their love. Or not. In 'Sister' the death of Jack's brother has left him in a year long funk. He can only be angry. He can't bring himself to tell Iris that he loves her. Iris mourns her lack of courage to openly admit that she loves Jack. Hannah, the sister, has just left a 7-year lesbian relationship. No one of them has anything else in their lives that seems to matter. They are stuck trying to wade through the relative complexities of their connects and disconnects, but have a tiny prism to look through.
Why does S-E-X so dominate the meaning of their lives? Our lives? (I'm going to take a break now to 'delete' the 75--no kidding--e-mails that come daily to get me to buy viagra or look at available partners) Is this the 'heart of the matter?' Albert and Kay's Omaha a 1950's kind of gender stereotyping of couples in their 60's probably exists. The 'cluelessness' is funny, but pretty sad this late in the game. I've heard that most of Omaha has been liberated. And even if you go to the center of Puget Sound to work on your life, there must be other things that interest one after 25 years living in Seattle, often mentioned as one of the 'ten best places to live' in the U.S. Isn't life more than getting one's sex lives straight? Is our obsession another way we think we can at least have control over something? The power of sex and the many ways it informs our lives is not to be minimized. We've done harmful things to ourselves and others because openness and honesty have not been my or our strong suit in discussing it. These films bring a healthy perspective that is accessible to many of us. Persons near my age in 'Sister' laughed like school kids enjoying a guilty pleasure. Maybe if we were more open, the pre-occupation would lessen and we could be about other things as well. Films can be a context for that conversation.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Beyond Polarization
We had waited a long time for this event to actually take place other than in our imaginations. As part of a group sponsoring a public conversation named "Beyond Polarization", we were excited. Some would say that no time in U.S. history has the population been more polarized. I'm not sure where the years surrounding the Civil War, the long divisions over slavery, or possibly the Vietnam War fit in here. Those were pretty divided times. Some lasting effects of all of those divisions seems to have survived. So to proclaim our time as the most polarized may be a stretch. Last evening, the "Beyond Polarization" conversation began with a short presentation of charts and graphs and numbers which suggest that if polarization is pointing to hard line separation, our divisions are serious. And they will be there after the elections this November. They may even become wider and deeper. Welcome to the doomsday scenario. Somebody is clearly out to get us (I don't know how to put a smiley face at the end of this comment.) The planning team's wait has been dominated by our hope that of the twenty people we expected that the divide in our country would be represented. Thankfully our hope was accompanied by some very hard work by the event coordinator--the work of one-on-one conversations, of approaching groups and individuals from across the political spectrum. Of the twenty, I had five in a small group for which I provided facilitation of discussion of the experience and meaning of 'polarization.' That was typical of the four small groups. We had succeeded in the recruitment phase. By guiding a 'neutral' facilitation method, I sat on my emotions as the group introduced their Tea Party, Libertarian, Independent choices. Not one claimed either of the two dominant parties. But FINALLY we had the opportunity to explore polarization with real people with very different points of view. We had racial, gender, and age mixes--not anyone really younger than 40. The conversation was certainly civil and passionate. Emotions and strong feelings or definite opinions weren't spared, but were shared with respect. The issues of concern were local and national. The key agreement among the group is that information comes at us at lightning speed and we have limited tools to evaluate the facts. Information is more likely heard as support or opposition of a point of view we already hold. The relationship to the sources of information are not built on trust and there is a sense that someone else is controlling the game for their own purposes. We hope to follow up with this task. I have done similar groups, with less opposing views, however, for many years. I am always a little frustrated by the lack of resolution or sense of a common commitment. The participants are courageous and insightful regardless of their persuasion. We avoid 'next step' talk because we don't have a program or a vehicle to channel the energy. We only now how to work together when we agree. What is it that we can agree upon that will focus the energy and passion we have for overcoming the great divide that we live in? Is it citizenship as Parker Palmer suggests? I like that. How do we insert that into the conversation process without circumventing the necessary discovery and sharing of our own experience that has led us to this point? Perhaps that is the heart of the matter!
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